Mine has been a life of much shame.
My eyes abruptly focused on that sentence.
I was in the middle of a lot of cleaning with the upcoming New Year. As I organized my book collection, I found myself reaching out to a book.
The reason why I ended up picking out this book amongst the many was because I felt some kind of link with the three worded title.
No Longer Human.
I think it was about the time I got into middle school that I read this book.
When I made it halfway through the second memorandum, I closed the book in a hurry and never managed to read much of it beyond that. Back then, the difficulty was a little out of my league and as a middle school student, it was fairly tedious as well. I had plenty of other fun things to read too, so it wasn’t like I was starving for entertainment that I needed to go through the trouble of reading a fastidious and offensive book like this.
That’s exactly why I closed the book.
In that book, it felt as if I was getting dragged to the surface, as if my true nature that I was still continuing to hide to this day was getting exposed.
I felt it was possible that even the reason why I attempted to read this book when I was in middle school was written in that book as well.
Despite that, the reason I was reading this book this late now was because I thought it was just something to be thrown out. I took it with my hands in astonishment.
But thinking about it even more, there was no way I could throw out this book.
They say that bookshelves are a reflection of a person’s personality.
In that case, I’m sure this book was a reflection of my true nature. That’s why, the only thing I could do in the end was just put it away without tossing it and pretend as if I had never seen it.
Yet here I am, reaching out to it again.
Could it have been a divine oracle, or possibly fate?
I wasn’t one to take those words seriously, but it wasn’t very pleasant knowing how it seemed like I was reinforcing the notion instead by being up in arms and denying it.
I wiped off the collected dust on the book and dropped onto the couch.
Let’s continue the book; continue on from where I couldn’t back then.
Because it’s likely that I needed to see what will happen from there on.