Volume 10, First Memorandum

Possibly, it’s no one’s monologue.

Mine has been a life of much shame.

My eyes abruptly focused on that sentence.

I was in the middle of a lot of cleaning with the upcoming New Year. As I organized my book collection, I found myself reaching out to a book.

The reason why I ended up picking out this book amongst the many was because I felt some kind of link with the three worded title.

No Longer Human.

I think it was about the time I got into middle school that I read this book.

When I made it halfway through the second memorandum, I closed the book in a hurry and never managed to read much of it beyond that. Back then, the difficulty was a little out of my league and as a middle school student, it was fairly tedious as well. I had plenty of other fun things to read too, so it wasn’t like I was starving for entertainment that I needed to go through the trouble of reading a fastidious and offensive book like this.

That’s exactly why I closed the book.

In that book, it felt as if I was getting dragged to the surface, as if my true nature that I was still continuing to hide to this day was getting exposed.

I felt it was possible that even the reason why I attempted to read this book when I was in middle school was written in that book as well.

Despite that, the reason I was reading this book this late now was because I thought it was just something to be thrown out. I took it with my hands in astonishment.

But thinking about it even more, there was no way I could throw out this book.

They say that bookshelves are a reflection of a person’s personality.

In that case, I’m sure this book was a reflection of my true nature. That’s why, the only thing I could do in the end was just put it away without tossing it and pretend as if I had never seen it.

Yet here I am, reaching out to it again.

Could it have been a divine oracle, or possibly fate?

I wasn’t one to take those words seriously, but it wasn’t very pleasant knowing how it seemed like I was reinforcing the notion instead by being up in arms and denying it.

I wiped off the collected dust on the book and dropped onto the couch.

Let’s continue the book; continue on from where I couldn’t back then.

Because it’s likely that I needed to see what will happen from there on.


Illustrations Top Chapter 1

46 thoughts on “Volume 10, First Memorandum

  1. Ohmigosh, it’s started. With an opening line from No Longer Human. Just like Book Girl. You can’t see it, but I’m squealing like a fangirl.

    Thanks for the translation.

  2. I really like how in vol. 1 Yukino wanted to change no matter what and Hikki believed it’s fine to stay as he is, but now in the recent volumes it’s slowly being the opposite. Hachiman is ready to change and Yukino is willing to accept herself. Oregairu is really cleverly written.

    • Well you could put it like that but… Yukino is also slowly changing as well. Hirastuka said so herself that Yukino should change.

      I think it’s more like Yukino wanted to change for the wrong reasons instead and is now accepting what was/is wrong and changing like that.

    • I felt it was possible that even the reason why I attempted to read this book when I was in middle school was written in that book as well. – this is exactly why i love this book, it’s always on the mark & well written. TT^TT

  3. Thanks, for this

    I guess if hachiman not changed the story won’t progress, but actually i hate when he denied his own ideals, and start to changes. he should remain negative and pragmatic as he was until now

  4. Hi, i wonder, if i am order ebook oregairu from amazon jp for kindle version, I think to make the translation (just for readable english version), can be done in matter of minutes, right? google translate it

    • If by readable English, you mean the text is in English words, then sure. If you want something that actually makes sense and follows the story, then absolutely not. I don’t know what definition of “readable English” you’re using, but if you’ve ever tried to read something longer than a phrase (or maaaybe a few sentences) depending solely on google translate or any machine translation, it’s typically butchered, sometimes to the point where a translation says the opposite of what the original text says. If it were that easy, human translators wouldn’t have a job, and there’d be nothing stopping the publishers from offering translations of the LN in the first place. Japanese-English translations aren’t exactly the easiest to do; the languages are unrelated, syntax is different (Japanese tends to leave out the subject and only imply what it should be, among other differences), nuance and wordplay are lost. Also, no offense, but your post doesn’t show a great mastery of English to begin with, so if English isn’t your first language, you definitely shouldn’t depend on a machine translation.

      By all means, though, support the author by buying a copy. I just wouldn’t depend on a machine translation to read it.

  5. Thanks for your hard work mate i’m from Ukraine and i really like the story so i cant wait for russian or ukranian translators get their hands on it so i read it here i dunno maybe u dont care but so you know you have at least 1 ukranian reader😉

  6. Its hard to say whose memorandum this is.
    Lets make a guess shall we ^^

    This sentence
    “When I made it halfway through the second memorandum, I closed the book in a hurry and never managed to read much of it beyond that”

    In no longer human novel MC is a clown since child. Always pretending, act funny, and thick facade . So he can feel safe .its written in the novel no longer human till half second memorandum.

    so from this we have candidate:
    1.haruno
    2.hayama
    3.yui(seem nonsense&stupid righ?)
    4.isshiki

    These people have the prerequisite which is act, facade, and funny (cheerful).
    hikki not there because he never hiding his rotten personality

    yukino is out because it mention in vol 9. When she’s child she couldnt socialize Very different with MC no longer human. Who can act to getting along with people.

    So no.1 and no.2 is very likely

  7. I don’t know why but people seem to pay attention to only the 1st memorandum, which is useful but might not be able to rule out all the possibilities. Here is the summary (supposedly first half) of the 2nd memorandum:

    Quoting some of the standing out lines from above:

    “In that book, it felt as if I was getting dragged to the surface, as if my true nature that I was still continuing to hide to this day was getting exposed.”

    This quote states pretty well that the author of this memorandum has some kind of connection to the story (or even the MC). I’ll paste the summary of first and 2nd memorandum with my interpretation here:

    First Memorandum: Overcome by an intense feeling of alienation and otherness and finding it nearly impossible to understand those who surround him who live in egoism and bad faith, Ōba can’t help but resort to buffoonery in order to establish interpersonal relationships. He is abused by a female servant during his childhood, but decides reporting it would be useless.

    Multiple points I think it’s worth seeing:

    1. Unable to understand those surround him, resort to buffoonery
    As pointed out by others, this likely refers to the facade of the author. The point of not understanding those surround him seems much like Yukino, though resorting to buffoonery is obviously not her. That leaves this with the choice of Haruno, Hayama, and some other people who fit pretty well in the society.

    2. He is abused by a female servant during his childhood, but decides reporting it would be useless.
    (This could be irrelevant, but at the same time, it could end up being relevant too, so I will just throw my 2 cents here).
    I think we know that this is likely what Yukino might have gone through (with the “female servant” being Haruno). Though as Yukino has been ruled out from the above point, who else that could fit in this scenario?
    My answer would be Hayato, since he was taken care by Haruno when they were young as well. It is likely that Haruno didn’t tease only Yukino, but Hayama too, though obviously I don’t think it went far enough to be called “abuse”.
    This still isn’t enough to rule out Haruno though, since there’s another possibility that the female servant is referring to Haruno’s mother. We don’t really know about her enough to draw this conclusion, but I just kinda want to throw it out there xD.

    So basically after the first memorandum, I have 2 choices in mind: Haruno, and Hayato. Let’s take a look at the first half (at least in wikipedia) of the 2nd memorandum.

    2nd Memorandum “Ōba (MC) becomes increasingly concerned over the potential penetrability of his cheerful facade by his schoolmate Takeichi, who sees through his false buffoonery. Ōba befriends him to prevent Takeichi from revealing his secret.”

    I personally didn’t believe that the author mentioned 2nd memorandum there for nothing, but I can’t find it entirely fitting any of the contenders. However, there is another interesting point from this person’s memorandum:

    “I felt it was possible that even the reason why I attempted to read this book when I was in middle school was written in that book as well.”

    The only contender that was mentioned in the story about middle school is Hayama. From here on it’s the story I interpret based on the assumption that the 2nd memorandum above is entirely relevant. Though I know inside that this might not be THIS relevant (or it could be totally irrelevant yeah), but I will throw it out here anyways xD:

    The person who saw through his facade back in Hayato’s middle school was likely Yukinoshita. Because of that, Hayato befriended her (or I should say treated her more specially) to keep the secret. It’s possible that back then Hayato is scared of his facade being seen through (unlike the present as we saw in the 2nd memorandum). That special treatment led to the ultimate jealousy from all of Yukino’s friends. Or, she might have also realized at some point that Hayato was just befriending her for that purpose, leading to her disappointment. With these factors, Yukino might have ended up revealing Hayato’s true side out of frustration from being bullied. It’s unlikely for anyone to believe her though, and thus leading to more bullying and stuff that Hayama couldn’t do anything about. I will stop before my imagination went too wild here lol. Nonetheless, this story could answer about what Yukino was apologizing to Hayama about in the end of this volume too. This incident also answers the question about why current Hayato isn’t scared of his facade being seen anymore, since he has seen that even with straightforward revealing, people would believe in his facade more than the truth. And thus leading to his current self at Second Memorandum, where he wished someone (spoiler: Hikigaya!?) to see through him.

    Anyways, after all this, I believe the only relevant one we have seen enough depth to infer further could be noone but Hayama Hayato. Of course I’m not saying it’s right, but it’s the only logical explanation I could think of that could incorporate the facts here pretty soundly.

    • OH SNAP! please ignore my first paragraph Q_Q. I forgot to delete it when I restructured my write up T T

    • Another conclusion I reached after gaining more information about No Longer Human
      If we go back to the Tobe’s confession incident, there is exactly one facade being seen through, which is Hayato’s facade of supporting Tobe, or on a larger scale (involving Miura and Ebina), the facade of their group’s relationship, where people prefer to lie to keep the current environment as it is rather than exposing their true feelings. And the one who saw through that facade was noone but Hachiman, the person of lowest outward social standing. Hayato then asked Hachiman to keep everything as it is, which is to prevent Tobe’s confession that would cause the current environment to break down. After that, Hayato ended up trying to pay him back by standing up for him in the Orimoto’s situation.
      This situation very closely resembles the second memorandum of No Longer Human mentioned below.
      2nd Memorandum (No Longer Human) “Ōba (MC) becomes increasingly concerned over the potential penetrability of his cheerful facade by his schoolmate Takeichi, who sees through his false buffoonery. Ōba befriends him to prevent Takeichi from revealing his secret.”
      We can more or less take the reference of Takeichi (which I heard is an idiot in No Longer Human) who saw through the main character there as Hachiman (an idiot in the normal social viewpoint) seeing through the Hayato’s group relationship. From all this, I think it’s pretty safe to say now that Hayato is the owner of this Memorandum.

  8. The first line: Mine has been a life of much shame.

    This seem to describe Hachiman Hikigaya more accurately. He was shamed by society since elementary, yes?

  9. Dear exorcism

    Do you know where i can get no longer human and run melos novel?
    Im checking from website found no longer human in japanese format… they. And the other they all crap. Its confusing. Can you tell me where i can get it? Free? If i must buy ot where i can get it? .

  10. Been a while since I read this again.
    This monologue should be either Yui’s or Hachiman’s. There is a mention that the book was a difficult read for the person in his middle school days. The monologue becomes closer to Hachiman’s when there is a mention of the person having a bookcase filled with books.

    Then, there is this facade part. Was Hachiman good at keeping one in his younger days? Yui probably had that. Since you have to study hard to get into that highschool, it probably would not be surprising if she can pick up that book.

    This is difficult for me but I gonna assume this is Yui’s for now if we are still staying fictional here.

  11. Watari wrote a keyword in this memorandum about who is the owner of memorandum.
    Yukino is the answer because Watari wrote some sentence that point it’s her.

    “I was in the middle of a lot of cleaning with the upcoming New Year.”

    “new year” This makes you think it should be who born in “new year”?

    Well you might argue me this is the keyword , huh? To tell you the truth, I don’t think “New Year” is keyword either, I never realize it before, however I read 3rd memorandum and Watari gave another keyword to point who might be the owner of 3rd memorandum too, so I started to be sure about this.

    Ps. If you want to know who might be the owner of 3rd memorandum, check in comment of 3rd memorandum.

    Ps2. I’m not sure which keyword would point at Hayama in 2nd memorandum.

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